Today

I read a blog post today that completely resonated with me.  It was as if she opened up my heart and was able to put into words exactly how I feel.  You can read it {HERE}.  She called it "in which I am learning to live with the ache."  "The ache" as she called it, was the longing for more children even though she knew their family was complete.

I know I will be one who will have to learn to live with "the ache."

After I had Will, I immediately wanted to get pregnant again and go through the experience all over- pregnancy, birth, new perfect babe.  I wanted a million babies.  I literally counted down the days until it was time to try again for baby #2.

Then there was Annie.  It took a little bit of trying to get her here.  Looking back I think it was God's way of saying, "Are you sure you are ready for this one?"  She came a week early when I was unprepared, and I can still say that I'm unprepared for her.  She leaves me exhausted and in awe at the end of each day.  After I had her, I went to my doctor and said, "I need to be on whatever will ensure that I will not have an accident."  I needed time to adjust to Annie.  That being said, I did miss her in my belly already.

And sweet Paige.  My loving Father in Heaven all but came down and told me that it was time for her to come.  So we let her, and it has been the most blissful nearly 10 months.  We love every piece.  I still miss my pregnancy, I reminisce about her dreamy delivery, and I worry about how quickly time is going.  How quickly my new baby is growing up on me- even though I tell her on a daily basis not to.  I'm back to wanting a million babies all over again.

I don't feel like our family is complete yet, but I am already so sad at how fast these years have gone.  I already long for the days of baby Will, and Lightning McQueen, and Annie singing "Yankee Doodle" in her footie pajamas.  And I miss Paige's tiny body napping on my chest.

Right now.  Today.  This is going to be the time that I will long to go back to.  I will want to be so annoyed at how Annie doesn't let me have 5 seconds to myself to think.  I will dream of waking up in the night to nurse my sweet baby because it's the only time that I can have her all to myself with zero interruptions.  I will miss Will thinking I'm the coolest mom ever because I can beat Skylanders!  I'm going to miss it all!

Today felt like a day that I didn't appreciate it.  I didn't appreciate the little things that come with having children- and they are beautiful things because I have children.  Not everyone has that gift.

I'm calling a do-over.

So, TODAY, I'm going to be grateful.  I'm grateful for this little apartment and how it fits us all and allows me to stay home with my babies.  I'm grateful to have Annie on my heels because that means she wants to be with me.  I'm grateful that Dallas and I have the same goals, and that other things can come later.  I'm grateful that I have no time to myself because my day is filled with taking care of little souls.

I know I will miss it all one day.  I'm going to be grateful today.

"When you have been given the tremendous gift of being able to have a baby, to give birth to that baby, to love that baby, it marks you. It should, perhaps, and so this season has marked more than just my stretched-out body, it has marked my soul." 

 -Sarah Bessey

Brand new Will.

Annie Kate and her footie pajamas.

6 pound Paige.

All of my kids.  Together.  Under one roof.  Every day.

Summit Engineering Group, Inc.

The week of Christmas was pretty stressful.  We were happy and enjoying every minute of the holidays, but there was something looming over our heads:

A JOB

Dallas' first official job offer came in at about 10PM the night before Christmas Eve.  We were waiting for an offer from another company before we made our decision.  The problem with this is that during the week of Christmas nothing happens.  We waited... and waited... and waited.  The offer we were waiting for finally came in one week later.

On December 30th Dallas accepted a job offer at Summit Engineering Group, Inc. right in Heber City!  We could not have been more excited. 

Dallas started his first job of his Civil Engineering career on January 22nd.

What It's All About

Will taught us the Plan of Salvation during Family Home Evening tonight.  This was a first for us!  He was so excited to teach us what he had learned in primary.  He wrote it down as he talked about each place, and Dallas would add details here and there.  I loved seeing my whole family- my whole world- bent over a piece of paper on the floor talking about our ultimate goal- to be a forever family.

For a bald baby, she sure has some crazy hair!

Paige is 9 Months

My sweet babe.  She has now been on the outside for as long as she was on the inside!  She has grown so much.

29"- 90%
17 lbs 5 oz- 20%

Paige is a hand clapping, peek-a-boo loving, rolling, scooting, ball of sweetness.  I think she is going to be the peacemaker in our family.  She has such a calm and gentle spirit; she calms the rest of us down.

Paige has decided that she does, in fact, like food.  Her favorites are sweet potatoes and broccoli.  She's more a fan of veggies than fruits, which is surprising.  I make nearly all of Paige's baby food and she prefers it that way.  She now refuses to take a bottle and hasn't figured out a sippy cup.  This has made getting extra fluids difficult; I end up feeding her with a syringe.  What a spoiled babe!

Paige also decided that she doesn't like sleeping through the night.  She has been waking up 1-2 times.  I spoil her and nurse her rather than make her cry it out and self soothe.  I need to stop this!  I must confess that I secretly like snuggling my babe in the wee hours of the morning when the world is all asleep. 

Paige loves the outside, banging things, stomping her feet in her exersaucer, and putting everything in her mouth.  I've never had a baby put so many things in their mouth!  I don't even know where she finds it all!

She lifts herself in the crawling position and is doing many yoga poses, but she still just army crawls on the floor.  I have a feeling in the next month she will be on hands and knees.  We're in no rush!  I want her to stay a baby forever.

New Year

*Deep breath.  Exhale.*

WE. MADE. IT.

Welcome 2014!  The first year of the rest of our lives.  School is behind us, Dallas has a new position at Summit Engineering Group, Inc., right here in Heber City.  No more homework, no more commuting, no more student loans (well, at least racking them up anyway).  We have waited for this day for a long time, and now it is actually here.

Sooooo, what do we do now?

Right now we're spending evenings playing board games, watching Parenthood on Netflix, and continuing the 10PM nacho ritual. 

This year has lots of potential.  Potential for vacations, more family time, and maybe a possible house in our future?  We're not sure!  But we are very excited!  We welcome the new year with all of its challenges and adventures.  Here we go!

Sledding

Will is a sledding monster!  The kid has no fear and will go up and down the hill all by himself a zillion times.  I have a feeling he's going to be an adrenaline junky like his Uncle Beau.  Will hiked to the top right off and went down with Abby.  They crashed and we were terrified the kid broke his back.  We all started running up to them and Will sits up and says, "That was awesome!!!"

This hill was intense; by far the steepest and longest sledding hill I've ever been on.  Picture Mt. Crumpit and you've got it about right.  We went up and down several times, and ate it at the bottom every. single. time.  I have a scraped up eye and a goose egg on my shin to prove it.

We loved it.  Sledding is becoming our new favorite activity.

Best Cousins

I have loved this girl since the moment she was born.  I'm certain of it!  One of my earliest memories was when my Mom took the older kids to go see Pinocchio in the theaters and I got to go hang out with my Aunt Elaine and my new cousin, Laura.  We love seeing Tyler and Laura!  It works out handsomely that our husbands get along so well.  I can't wait to visit them in Seattle next year.  (If I write it down it will happen- right?)

Christmas Morning

At 6:07 AM I heard my puppy come bounding up the stairs.  Scooter  was up!  That means one thing: the kids are awake.  The next moment I heard Will and Annie climb the top of the stairs and see our living room.  They started whispering to each other about all of the gifts, and the bean bags, and the stockings. 
Then I hear Will.

"Annie, we have to wake up Mom and Dad.  You go on Dad's side and I'll go on Mom's side," he says.  They tiptoe into our room.

"Mom, Dad, wake up!  It's Christmas!"

"Santa came!"

"The tree is overflowing with presents!"

"Our stockings are full!"

This was the first year that our kids woke us up, and it was the greatest!  Even after waking Paigey up from a deep sleep, she was so happy and playful and it was like she even knew what Christmas was.

This was my favorite Christmas yet.  I think it may have something to do with how we added more love to our home this year.  This season was magical.  My heart has been filled with so much love I feel like it could almost burst.  I found myself tearing up as I picked Paige up from her crib, and when I was on the floor looking at my nephew Beau; I don't know if there is anyone as blessed as I am.

Party like it's Christmastime.

Here's the deal- Christmas parties are THE BEST- all caps, bolded, italicized, and underlined.  Whether with the Wilson's, Kaiserman's or Nicoll's, we love talking of old memories and creating new ones.  Here are a few of our favorite moments from our parties this year.

Graduated

At the end of December 2007 I was sitting at my computer when Dallas said to me, "Amy I want to go to school."  I remember asking when, and he responded with January.  My eyes must have been huge because my mind immediately started racing- 'Will we get student loans and everything going in time?  Can he even enroll with only a little over a week before the new semester starts?  How are we going to work this out with work?  I'm going to school too!  Will our schedules mesh?'

Not knowing how anything was going to work out, I applied for school, grants, and loans and he started at Utah Valley University in January 2008.

Will was only 15 months.

2 schools, 2 houses, 2 beautiful daughters, countless hours of homework and studying, and six years later- Dallas has graduated from the University of Utah with a Bachelor of Science in Civil and Environmental Engineering.

I have been thinking about this day for so long.  Looking back on the past six years, it has definitely been the best of our lives.  We didn't know how everything would work out, but it always has.  We've seen countless miracles along the way and have seen how our Father in Heaven has blessed us so that Dallas could get an education.

I am so proud of Dallas.  When he started he was in Math 950.  He had to take 4 semesters of math before it even counted for anything on his transcripts!  He told me once that he is living proof that if you work at something hard enough, you can do it.  It doesn't matter how "smart" you are.  It's dedication and effort.

I know Paige and Annie probably won't remember this, but I hope Will does.  Dallas has set a wonderful example for them and I hope one day that all of our children choose to go to school, work hard, and contribute to this world.

Thank you, Dallas.  Thank you for all of your time.  Thank you for sacrificing for us so that we can provide a better life for our kids.  Thank you for doing this so that I can live my dream and be a stay at home mom.  Thank you for not giving up, even when we both wanted to.  Thank you for being the man of my dreams and the greatest father to our children.  I am so proud.  I love you.

After his last final Dallas took us on a little tour of the Warnock Engineering building where he spent the majority of his time in classes and studying over the last few years.

Cousins!!!

Some of my best memories growing up were playing with my cousins.  We would have sleepovers with Katie and Brandon and play board games, and we'd have sleep overs with Richie and Laura and play tag.  I loved being with cousins more than my friends, and my kids feel the same way about theirs!

The Robinson's came to visit, so we had a Christmas party!  Sleepovers, ornament making, cookie decorating, seeing Frozen together, and all of the giggles we could handle.  We're already counting down the days until we see them again.